oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
