K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it glows. i had to have it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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