How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.