lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did I show you my penis last night?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody