I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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