Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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