You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
