that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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