no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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