so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
