I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize