I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
