My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
