she woke up with a sticky ear
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
