Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's blow job season.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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