He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
