I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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