Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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