I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
