I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
