would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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