Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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