I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
