That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
