Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
