I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
His nipple licking is glorious
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