these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
