I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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