i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
