Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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