Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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