South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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