I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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