She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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