It's like God shit irony all over that family
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
