is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
