he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
