I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
