Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
