What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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