I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
