his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
