He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
