new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So squirting runs in the family.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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