When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
