some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
