So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
