Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
