i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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