he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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