During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
