Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
