the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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