Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
