haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
