so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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