my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think my vagina is haunted
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
