Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
