hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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