I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles