youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.