don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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