my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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