so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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