playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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