anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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