He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
