I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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