i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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