jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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